But I can be amazing too!!
So, I missed Idol on Sunday because A) who the hell gave them permission to air an episode during a random evening that I didn’t even know about until last minute? And B) The football game ran late and my DVR recorded that instead anyway.
1/19/12 – I thought I was a little good.
Mmmm, Seacrest on a giant bridge. I suppose the bridge has a name, but if I didn’t learn it from watching other TV shows, I probably won’t learn it from this one.
1/18/12 – I won!… no, I didn’t win, but… I don’t know! I’m going to Hollywood.
Dear Idol,
I will cut someone if this season sucks. And I don’t mean cut like the way you mean cut when you eliminate someone, I mean, literally, cut. I will make a shank out of that stool what’s-his-face sits on and I will slice you up.
Love, Me.
5/25/2011 – And the winner is…………..
There’s a montage of clips of various judges saying that Lauren is totally gonna win. Dial Idol says Scotty. So we shall see.
5/24/2011 – I want my face to kiss David Cook’s face.
I’m confused as to why every episode this season was an hour and a half to an hour long, but yet the performance finale is only one hour.
5/19/2011 – Finally!!
Jimmy Iovine is all, “No one wants to go home, but someone has to.” Do people even read the synopsis of the show? That’s the point. Someone goes home every week until there’s no one left to go home. Otherwise, it would be a variety show. Or sketch comedy, as it were this season. But bad sketch comedy, like the last half hour of SNL every week.
5/18/2011 – Idol, you must not know about me.
Just so we’re clear on this, I’m only finishing this season out of habit. And if the finale is a Scotty/Haley
finale – as much as I love Scotty – I’m gonna lose my shit, for reals. And it’s still up in the air over whether or not I’ll care about next season. I mean, probably I’ll tune in, with this show being like a heroin addiction and all. But we’ll see. I suppose it might depend on what the judging situation will be. As fun as the three judges are together, they do not actually make good judges.
5/13/2011 – if you look closer it’s easy to trace the tracks of my tears
The opening theme seems different tonight. Like they remade it. Maybe they’ve been remaking it every week. I don’t know that I pay close enough attention anymore.
Steven is dressed like the gay lady man again, and weirdly, so is J Lo. Ryan looks as fucking amazing as he ever has. That man is never not gorgeous. 72 million votes, his beautiful mouth says. Highest top 4 vote ever.
5/11/2011 – You ate pizza. You stole panties. You’re a wild woman.
I seriously can’t even take this show anymore. I was watching Doctor Who while it was taping and I was like, “Ugh, I am not looking forward to this episode ending and having to watch Idol.” My brother came in at 7:45 to tell me they’d just started round 2. What the fuck is there even a round 2 for? One song each, bitches!! One hour of music!! And then we vote and go do other things with our lives. Stop trying to control my life, Seacrest!
5/5/2011 – That’s some American Idol stuff right there.
Sometimes Kelly Clarkson does things, like tweet how great she thinks Haley is, and then I feel like I don’t
even know her anymore. Like we’re miles apart.