5/12/10 – Reflecting now how things could’ve been

I mistook the preview for next week’s episode of Lie To Me for the opening of Idol. But then Idol started and I mistook the opening for a preview of some other drama show.

One of the sexiest things Ryan does is walk down stairs. When we get married, I hope there’s a lot of stairs in our house. And if there isn’t, I’ll have some put in. He’s gone at work so often, he won’t even be home to notice the construction. It’ll be like my wedding gift to him that is really for me.

Ryan runs through tonight’s line-up of guests. Bon Jovi, yay!! Fantasia, meh. Daughtry!! DAUGHTRY!

I think you’ll all be happy to know that Fantasia has Justin Bieber’s haircut. And her song sounds just like you would assume it would sound.

stonehousekthx: i’m sorry but the 80s called and want their shoulder pads back
stonehousekthx: also i’m on the other line with the early 90s and they want their song and tempo back

Oh god no, there’s a talking part to the song. No! No talking during a song, unless it’s Ludicrous doing a “don’t need no Starbucks” rap. And especially no Fantasia talking. She needs to stick to what she does best, whatever that may be. I don’t agree that it’s singing, and it’s probably not hair styles either.

After she’s done singing, her and Ryan remember the time she had a daughter. Remember how Ryan came out carrying the baby and it made my ovaries ache? It was a long time ago, but I remember.

Ford music video – Casey dressed like a German. And then everybody else is like, I don’t know, Chinese, I think. Except Mike, who just puts on a hat and a scarf cause he is clearly not a good sport when it comes to these commercials.

Remember when we went to Kris Allen’s hometown? And Taylor Hick’s? And Elliott Yamin’s? And the hometowns of the two Davids? And then Adam Lambert’s? And Bo Bice’s, where he cried? We sure visited a lot of hometowns. I spent the day debating going to Lee’s hometown visit because it’s less than an hour away from me, but I decided I don’t want to deal with the mess. Not unless he can knock me up, and I don’t see that happening.

Mike talks about wanting to go home and keeps shut up about his baby. Thank you, Mike. Crystal wants to see some places she had seen before, Lee says something I don’t know about cause I’m looking at his shoes, and Lee repeats what Mike said, but also wants to hear people say y’all.

There are family members of everybody sitting on the couch for some reason. This isn’t fair. The Davids didn’t get their family there. Ryan doesn’t get me, his wife, on the couch every week. Although, I’d do it if they ask.

Casey is in the top 3. I don’t know about this. I don’t think he belongs there, but put him up against Mike, and I’ll choose him too.

Mmmmmm, Daughtry. I think ‘September’ is my favorite song off Leave This Town. I have a hard time narrowing it down. It’s between this, ‘Tennessee Line’, ‘Life After You’, and ‘Learn My Lesson’. I think I’ll choose September cause the name of the album comes from it and that a good enough reason. This performance is great. Every time I see him sing, I remember the times he touched me.

Ryan calls him “Chris” and it confuses me for a minute because it’s been years since I considered him being a person with a first name and not just some guy with the same name as his band. Whatever you want to call him, I’d make out with him. Especially when he had hair. Remember that? For like a week he had all that hair and it was sexy as hell?

Oooh, I forgot about ‘No Surprise’. Damn, that’s a good album. It was so good that I bought a copy even though I had it on my iPod weeks before it was released because it leaked on the internets.

OMG BONES!!! I get so unnaturally excited when I see a Bones commercial. I won’t make excuses for it. It’s just what happens. Deal with it.

Because we have so much time to fill, we have to talk forever about that stupid Michael Jackson song that Mike sang. Why does Mike have to make everything so difficult for us?

Lee has a huge frickin’ head. I’d still make out with him, but geez. It’s huge. Not the David Cook kind of huge. That was a different animal altogether. But still huge.

stonehousekthx: it really is
stonehousekthx: it’s like half his body
roarimaraptor: it is, i don’t know how he stands upright

OMG, and then, Ryan says, “Lee…. is heading home to Chicago.” which confuses everyone cause it could be he’s going back home… or he’s going back home and then coming back because he’s in the top three. It turns out to be the latter, but I think everybody watching is confused about it. I bet Ryan even confused himself. That whore. I love him.

There are a bunch of cougars in the audience to yell and cheer for Bon Jovi. The 80s was such an awesome time. But I’m glad Bon Jovi survived it and could join us just as awesomely in the 2000’s. Jon is almost starting to look his age, but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t still hit it.

The guitar player tries to rape Ryan with his eyes, which is such a weird thing to see happen. He kind of looks like an old lady. An old lady, dressed like a dude, playing guitar in Bon Jovi, is trying to rape Ryan Seacrest. I hope that thought doesn’t follow me into my dreams.

I’m still confused by this whole Casey in the top 3 thing. While Casey is trying to talk, some rude ass girls keep yelling, “I love you Lee!” He ignores them, because, how fucking rude. Someone else is talking. Yell in between sentences if you have to, not OVER someone.

Not surprisingly, Crystal is in the top 3 and Mike is out. Which means we get to hear about his baby some more, and then see Kara cry, and lots of Ryan being lifted in the air.

Mike’s baby is horrified by all of this.