4/28/10 – if you don’t get that camera out of my face, I’m gonna bite you

Intro makes me dizzy. Theme song makes me dance. 33 million votes last night, and Seacrest looking sexy tonight. Also, Rascal Flatts in the house makes me happy on the inside.

Randy is dressed like an idiot, in case you wondered if things had changed.

Rascal Flatts was on an episode of CSI and that was awesome. I stopped watching CSI after Grissom left cause it just wasn’t the same. But I watched that particular episode. Ryan hugs Gary and then calls one of the other guys ‘brotha”. Good times. I think Rascal should be on every week. Also, on more episodes of CSI.

The Ford music video tonight is the Idols as vampires. Crystal still looks dirty, but pale. Casey looks exactly the same, Lee has cat eyes that are hot, and apparently they’re all supposed to eat Mike. Which is funny, cause I’m pretty sure that I made a joke that they could feed off of him for weeks. I hope Aaron sparkles in the sunlight! Siobhan looks at home in the vampire get-up, which further proves the theory I just not developed that she is of the undead.

There’s some weird video of the Idols voicing characters for Shrek. I don’t know. It was kind of fun. And then they go to a screening of Shrek Forever. Ryan has three lines in this movie, so you know I’m seeing it when it comes out. I bought Knocked Up for his one scene.

Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas, blah blah blah.

Jokes about Aaron not being 16 anymore. Then I drool over the studlyness that is Lee.

Ryan puts them into three groups of two. Lee and Siobhan. Casey and Michael. Aaron and Crystal. These are such weird pairings. I hope nothing porno happens. Ryan mixes them around and plays musical chairs and suddenly Casey, Michael, and Siobhan are bottom 2.

Ryan brings us breaking news that next week will be really boring.

And then OMG! Carrie Underwood!! She’s not singing, she’s introducing Sons of Sylvia. I know nothing of Sons of Sylvia except that my favorite song on Carrie’s latest album is the duet with them. Also, the lead singer looks like Clay Aiken had a baby with that one nerdy guy they had sing Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me with him. As a matter of fact, they all look like that…. are they brothers? Are they literally all the sons of someone named Sylvia? Note to self: Download this album.

Ryan harasses someone he calls a Kardashian but I’m pretty sure she is not, because her boobs are not out.

Now up, Lady Antebellum. They were recommended to me but I refused to even look into it because I thought it was another Lady GaGa thing and I don’t have time for anymore of that. Ooooh!! This is the song some lady at work is always singing and I’m like, “wtf song is this? I don’t like it.” but then I heard it playing at the dog groomer’s and I made a note to myself to download it but forgot it until now.

Rascal Flatts and Shakira? My mind just exploded with the possibilities.

Nevermind. That was kind of weird.

Text convo:
The Brother – “That was horrible.”
Me – “It kind of was.”
The Brother – “Kind of! it was just plain bad.”
Me – “But at least her hips didn’t lie.”
The Brother – “Hahahaha.”

Stupid Ryan makes Shakira talk, which is as bad as making Siobhan talk, but with an accent.

Gary’s microphone matches his shirt. That is so weird.

Finally, results! Geez. I forgot that’s why we were here.

Mike is safe.

And commercials.

OMG Bones tomorrow!

Casey versus Siobhan. What if Siobhan gets cut and then she stabs Casey? Would I be the only one not surprised? I mean, her hair tonight? She looks like a street tramp. I don’t know if I mean tramp as in homeless or tramp as in whore. Maybe a mix of both. She doesn’t say a word or change her expression, except she looks kind of like she might eat Ran. He makes her talk and she looks like she might eat the rest of us. I think I better leave right now.